Fat Ten-er # 9 (Belgian Blonde/Pale/Table Beer)
Gifted from my man Jay, 4.8% ABV
Number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9,
A man without terrors from beard to false
As the headmaster reported to me
My son he really can try as they do to find function
Tell what he was saying, and his voice was low and his hive high
And his eyes were low
Alright indeed. All of that gibberish is, of course, from the worst song on a “great” album. I’m talking about The Beatles’ avant garde sound collage mess “Revolution 9” from the White Album. For those of you younguns who are not familiar, here it is. All eight minutes and 22 seconds of nonsense for you.
Of course I appreciate the experiment and understand that John Lennon was influenced by Yoko and her envelope-pushing art. I know all about John Cage and I understand the “importance of the track.” I also “get” that the whole thing was probably some stupid acid trip fueled mess-about in the studio with state-of-the art techniques of the times. Stuff like back-masking and stereo sound manipulations. This was the “song,” after all, which started the whole “Paul is dead” silliness due to some perceived verbiage when it’s played backwards.
I also understand that the track just flat out sucks. You know how much it sucks? For full effect I cranked it up and forced my son to listen to it. That first picture is what happens to a non-tripping human when he is forced to listen to “Revolution 9.”
Go ahead, try the experiment on your innocent, unsuspecting child. For science.
Belgian blond-esque beer with a newer yeast blend, hopped with Amarillo, Saaz, Hallertau Blanc.
Say what?! NEBCO – New England Brewing Company – NEBCO is messing about in their “studio” and putting out these experimental beers. A “newer yeast blend?” Newer hop varieties? An under 5% table beer?
Sure, they’ve done a saison and they’ve done a Belgian and some pale ales… but this Fat Ten-Er felt different to me. This was not a NEBCO beer. And ironically, I think Rob Leonard did this one… the old head of NEBCO. As NEBCO is the Beatles of Connecticut beer – yeah, I said it – and Rob = John, Matt = Paul, Sebastian = George, James = Pete Best, and I guess the brewery dog = Ringo… It all makes sense.
[Everything is connected aside: In the picture above, that’s Percy from Thomas the Tank Engine turned upside down to portray the #9. And over the years, do you know who the three famous Thomas narrators have been? Alec Baldwin, George Carlin, and… Yup. Ringo Starr.]
And you know who Yoko is? Yoko is fanboys. Fanboys who try to muck up the works by whining about silent releases or Gandhi Bot distribution or the lack of Fuzzy Baby Ducks availability. It’s all so silly… NEBCO (aka, The Beatles) have a great thing going. Let them go the way they want. Stop trying to change them. Stay the frig out of their way and just enjoy the ride.
Case in point: Fat Ten-Er # 9. Number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9… It’s delicious. And it doesn’t have an Citra or Nelson Sauvin! Imagine that, fanboys! The “newer yeast straing” imparted typical Belgian flavors – some bubblegum and spice. Amarillo to add a bit of classic pale hop zing. The Saaz did what Saaz does when done right – subtle lemony undertones which, when paired with the Hallertau is just a very unique flavor for NEBCO.
Only to find the night-watchman
Unaware of his presence in the building
Number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9
Thrusting it between his shoulder blades
No, not “Eldorado,” John Lennon, you Acid Head kook, Amarillo, Saaz, and Hallertau. Man, the Beatles were so clueless sometimes. But there is a line towards the end of the insufferable “sound collage,” that gives me hope. Hope for the current craft beer scene. Hope that the ethics and mores of what the scene was – and should continue to be – will win out:
Take this brother, may it serve you well
Indeed. So please, share your whales. Try new things. Be honest in your critiques of beers and business. And enjoy the ride.
Overall Rating: A-
Rating vs. Similar style: n/a