Stupid/Funny Signs, Vanity Plates & Stuff

Since I find myself driving all over the state, I’m bound to come across plenty of stupid signs. I’ve passed by many over the years but never thought to document them. So I’m a little late to the game, but I have a hunch I’ll catch up.

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I enjoy a wiener in Mianus. Who doesn’t?

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A friend posted this on twitter and I couldn't let it slip by.

A friend posted this on twitter and I couldn’t let it slip by.

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"God, why are you driving SO SLO- oh."

“God, why are you driving SO SLO- oh.”

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Superfan in West Hartford

Superfan in West Hartford

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Defying convention with a gray Infinti SUV

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I found The One (91 North in Old Wethersfield)

Some thoughts on this one… First, it has led me to a probability thought experiment. If I told you my plate number, your chance of finding it is equal to finding The One (assuming many, many things are equal like the amount we drive and where we drive, etc). But why does that seem so wrong? Why does my fortuitous drive behind The One seem much more important than, say, my drive this morning behind 235 DKH? And what if I said,”I want to find 123 ABC? When you are purposely LOOKING for one oddly numbered plate, then that probably screws with the probability somehow. At least in your head.

Anyway, here in Connecticut, low numbered plates – and I’m only talking about 3 digit plates – are actually a corny status symbol for politicos. They beg outgoing governors for them and it has caused a bit of a stir in the past.

So who is The One? “Contrary to popular belief the Connecticut plate with 1 on it does not belong to the governor’s car, but to a private citizen, Kuehn said. “It was issued to a state senator from Litchfield who wrote the original Connecticut motor vehicle laws in 1903, and it has stayed in his family ever since.”

(I found that info here in an article about a CTMQ-worthy guy.)

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Who would ever name a street such a stupid name?

ss2a.jpg
Awesome. (In Durham… And yes, I colored over the ‘S’ at the end.)

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Okay, this isn’t stupid. It’s hilarious.

ss3.jpg

ss3a.jpg
East side of Route 77 in North Guilford

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This is absolutely real, seen on I-84 West in Farmington

tool.jpg
It sort of counteracts the nice car.

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This makes sense, as it’s at a horse place in Plainfield

ss4.jpg

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6. Um. It appears to me that the only thing not burnt down/razed is the “Yes We’re Open!” sign.

fp.jpg
The beautiful North Meadows, Hartford

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This guy has been selling this item for many years, according to my former boss who lives a stone’s throw away. And this sign has remained unchanged.

pwillow.jpg
While there, be on the lookout for tufted t–mice and woodc—s. On Route 69 at the Bristol/Burlington line.

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What are the chances I’d not only drive behind TOOL above and this guy, but that I’d have the camera at the ready as well?

dick.jpg
Sorry about the poor quality… I was too giddy with excitement to hold still. Seen in Farmington.

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99% of vanity plates are awful. This one is great.

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Too similar to the Seinfeld episode not to be moderately funny:

ashman
If this isn’t his last name, then what does it mean?

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This is it. The douchiest plate of them all:

imcool
What a loser.

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cnote
Mercedes, check. Douchey vanity plate, check. Home in foreclosure, check.

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con
And they wonder why my in-laws won’t attend.

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douche
BMW drivers are so corny, and…

corva
Corvette drivers are awesome.

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pudge
The driver was a very, very old man. But still…

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5150
This driver is CrAzY!

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sign
Finally, something to watch on the crazy Jesus channels

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gipper
This truck was driven by a young black woman. Just kidding

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hoopty
I enjoy this very much.

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Judging by the Jesus Fish, he was probably rooting for Frazier, not Ali

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The car does not match the vanity

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Some people just deserve a punch now and again.

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“Okay! Meet me at Seman Park for a picnic” just sounds awful. Sorry Southbury.

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The Doctor is in… A lesser car than I drive.

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Guy just really loves Moodus I guess.

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This one haunts me. I can’t wrap my head around this. Weird.

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Because he just HAD to have square head on his plates.

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Lispy

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I’m not sure these idiots know what “entity” means (sent by reader Amber)

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They exist! Someone tell the previous vanity plate about it! (sent by reader Amber)

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snooks
I feel bad for this woman… IF she got this before Jersey Shore went on the air.

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fubar
Do people know what FUBAR means anymore?

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madam
Weird

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1
Man, what a coup happening upon THE ONE

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koni
Save the Invisible Children

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bakkake
This cracks me up. Because I’m 11.

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pooh
Who the hell is SUCH a fan of a Winnie the Pooh?

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pee
Seriously?

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cup
If I find “Two Girls,” I’ll have won the Internet

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BF0Zhe-CcAAH4ml
Someone was asleep at the DMV. Kudos to this guy. (Hat tip to Kevin O.)

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BjqCh5WIEAAwEKV
This guy was there on the same day, apparently (It says “SZ MTRS”, hat tip to “CTBreweryBook” on Twitter)

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Comments

  1. A Bristling Son says

    I’ve seen that TOOL as well! And, yes, it is a confusing plate on an Audi. Is he a fan of the band Tool? Is he a manufacturer or building equipment? Is he just a large phallus?

    I need answers.

    (not really… but I had the same reaction you did when I saw that car the first time)

  2. says

    i think ‘Tool’ wat he mean is:

    A person, typically male, who says or does things that cause you to give them a ‘what-are-you-even-doing-here’ look. The ‘what-are-you-even-doing-here’ look is classified by a glare in the tool’s direction and is usually accompanied by muttering of how big of a tool they are. The tool is usually someone who is unwelcome but no one has the balls to tell them to get lost. The tool is always making comments that are out-of-place, out-of-line or just plain stupid. The tool is always trying too hard to fit in, and because of this, never will. However, the tool is useful because you can use them for things; money, rides, etc.
    “Let’s drive to Chicago from Iowa. Oh man, we need money. Hey, let’s ask tool to come, he’ll spot us the cash!”

    “Tool is our friend. We call him that because he is one.”

    source: http://www.ctmuseumquest.com/?page_id=2747&cpage=1#comment-50310

  3. Laura says

    The only possible excuse for the PLAYA person–it means a flat, dry lake bed in a desert (the Burning Man festival is held on one). I have a friend whose blog is called “Playa Minded” and she’s using it that way, rather than insinuating that she’s a PLAYA, yo.

  4. says

    I thought about that, but then I read the plastic border thing around the plate which says “do you want to race” and I saw the kid driving the car too.

    I think the use of “playa” in this case is unfortunate.

  5. says

    What channel is “Storm Proofing Your Ass…” on? I know I’m not disaster-ready, so this show might help me. And maybe I’ll find Jesus while learning how to boil water using only rocks and vinegar.

  6. Brad G says

    You need to get out to Haddam & take a picture of the street sign on “Skunk Misery Rd.” Apparently it’s so awful there even the skunks are miserable

  7. khrystyne says

    Actually, at MIT, being called a “tool” is a compliment. So you never know if the driver is one of the proud fighting beavers who live in Connecticut…

  8. says

    I recently saw a Ford Explorer with the New York vanity plate “DNA 4EVA.” The owner must be either (a) a life sciences professional, or (b) a blogospherian obsessed with genetics and IQ.

    Back in my Connecticut-resident days quite a few years ago, in Waterbury to be specific, a local businessman had gotten himself appointed honorary consul from Portugal. It was an entirely honorary position with no pay or diplomatic authority, but it did entitle him to get special Foreign Consul license plates from the DMV. And because he was the first, or maybe only, foreign consul in Connecticut, his plates bore the number “1.” The “Foreign Consul” marking was less prominent, so when you saw him tootling around town in his Lincoln you’d think it was the Governor. Which I’m sure was the whole point.

  9. says

    It was an honor to have been riding with you on the Extreme Connecticut Geo-Tour when you spotted the license plate with the #1 on it. That would have been about twelve hours into the journey by then… not sure how you had the wherewithal both to notice it and photograph it. I was dog-tired by that point.

  10. says

    So how many people in Connecticut know that the California Penal Code for an involuntary psychiatric hold is 5150 – other than yourself, of course, and me because when I dispatched for the Stockton Police Department my employee number was 5151 so I always said I was one number up from being a psych patient!

    I’m wondering if “THE DR” is actually a great lover of “Doctor Who” and not a real doctor as that doesn’t really look like a real doctor’s car. Well, maybe the car of a resident who can’t afford much but not a full-fledged my car is one of my status symbols doctors! If I ever get a blue car, I’m going to keep my fingers crossed that “TARDIS” is still available though I doubt it is!

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